Problem of Life

It is amazing how the mind functions. It always needs some problem to work on. Always!

So here is a quick re-cap of the current situation at hand. Me & the girl, we both like each other a lot. What we have between us is in fact too good to be true. I keep falling for her, and she says it is too easy for her to fall in love with me. But (and there is always a but, isn't it?), her parents want her to get married as soon as possible, and I feel that I cannot marry so soon. I mean I can, but (but!) I don't know how this relationship will proceed and how will the things be 6 months from now. So I do not want to commit now, and regret later.

So, we hit on the 'friends with benefits' formula. No commitment, no heart-break, just being really good friends and physical intimacy. But, I can not help falling in love with her. Nor can she I guess. And we return to the same problem again. If I fall in love with her, I'll not be able to see her get married to anyone else, or go away from me. So, you see, I want to have my cake and eat it too.

Hmm ..

I must realize that it is my decision to not to marry too soon. So I will be the one who will bear all the consequences.
No one knows what will happen tomorrow. Why affect today for what will be tomorrow? Maybe I'll not like her as much after a couple of months. Maybe we both don't like each other after a certain amount of time. Why consider only that one possibility? Why would she suddenly get married when she hasn't done so in the last 2 years of immense pressure from everyone? And ... maybe she will. So what? That is not the only possibility.

There is actually no problem in the now. NOW IS PERFECT. This is it, and it is perfect. What future I am imagining right now is coming from the past. The fear that I'll again be left with unrequited love ... it stems from the past. It is not happening right now. What I have right now is simply beautiful.

It is the mind. It always needs a problem to work on. I call it the 'Problem of Life'. Something that occupies the mind completely. All it wants is to think about it all day long, to work on it, to come up with a solution for it. Doesn't happen. One problem gets solved, you get another one at hand. Each time the mind makes us believe, this is not it. That there is more to it. That this is not what you wanted. So it creates a problem, and then wants to spend time solving it. True story.

And you simply cannot escape it. The mind is programmed for survival. It wants to survive in every situation. Trying to think of all possible situations which can happen, trying to prepare itself for it. But to prepare itself, it has to make that imagined situation real. And in that process, our emotional side also springs into action. It makes us unhappy. The situation hasn't happened as yet, but we already start living in it. And make ourselves unhappy.

That is why they tell you to create a big problem for yourself. A problem in whose comparison all these other problems fade away. A problem worthy of your life.