Happiness

Yesterday, I almost had a breakdown (breakdowns are always just waiting to happen, aren't they?). I messaged one of the (seminar) group members to fix-up the next group meeting. I got an almost-nasty reply. I felt enraged. For a brief moment, I lost all the power to my act, and almost gave in to the anger. But then I stopped. I remembered the scene from Revolver where Jake goes to Macha, drops the gun, and apologizes. I caught my act, became present to my ego working in the background and re-read the message. I realized that she must have been upset already and my message to her occurred in some other way. I resolved to cause a breakthrough for her. I messaged her a most sweet reply - apologizing for the message, promised to call her and inserted a smiley too.

I called her later that evening. We talked for about 30-35 minutes. Not even once in the conversation did I let my act play. The results ranged from good to amazing. In the end, I had to hang up because I had to go with a friend. But I could see that I made some in-roads. I told her about my stand for her, about causing breakthroughs where she had breakdowns. I asked her to treat me like her best friend. What was amazing was that since I did not let my act play, I did not even mind what ever she was saying. I did not get irritated or agitated even once. I had a lot of power in that conversation (not my act). And above all, it felt great to have that power. It felt great after the conversation was over. I realized that her being happy gave me a lot of power.

I remembered just now:

"From nothing, who I am right now, is the possibility of Happiness & Transformation".

Sometimes I think I should change to:

"From nothing, who I am right now, is the possibility of Love & Happiness".

But Happiness is always there. It calls me powerfully into action.